Posts Tagged ‘myspace’

I told you so.

I fucking told you so!  Told you so.  Told you so.  Told you so.  Told you so.  Told you so.  Told you so.  Told you so.  Told you so.  Told you so.  Told you so.  Told you so.  Told you so.  Told you so.  Told you so.  Told you so.  Told you so.  Told you so.  Told you so.  Told you so.  Told you so.  Told you so.  Told you so.  Told you so.  Told you so.  Told you so.  Told you so.

What’s the use in knowing what’s about to happen when no one will listen to you?  I don’t think this quite qualifies as a Cassandra complex but it’s the only thing I can relate to it.

Back in August, I knew what was happening to Myspace and I tried to tell people about the monumental shit sandwich that it would become by the end of the year.  Some listened.  Fewer agreed.  More blew it off as childish, indulgent, bitching.  A hand full of folks ridiculed anyone that spoke out.

Below is a repost of a few blog entries I made in August.  This is my “I told you so!” post.  This is dedicated to the few bloggers out there that tried to warn the ridiculing masses of the coming shitstorm known as New Myspace.

You’re All A Bunch Of Frogs!

Original post date August 10, 2010

I’m sure you’ve heard the old blurble about boiling a frog.  You put a frog in a pot of water and you slowly heat the water up to the boiling point.  The frog dies because the it doesn’t notice the slow increase in water temperature, so it never says “Fuck this shit!” and jumps out of the pot.

I don’t know if this really works, because I don’t do cruel shit to animals.  Besides I love frogs.

Well, for quite some time, our culture, our governments, our name brands, our pop stars, our employers, our peers, and our Myspace have all been turning up the heat on our individuality pots.

Sure, we’re told to be individuals and to express ourselves…through mass consumerism…through our choice of TV channels…through our willingness to suck down every last ounce of crap they sell to us.

But don’t you dare expect individuality for free!  Hell no!  Individuality, like freedom, is not yours for the taking.  It must be bought and worked for.  It must be begged away from the powers that be at the price of your bloody, overworked, fingers and your undying subservience to their big fucking machine.

Now Myspace wants you to quit having opinions that last longer than 140 characters.  Now Myspace want your profile (your personal expression of yourself) to match perfectly in with all the other conformist dittohead profiles over at Facebook.  Myspace doesn’t want you to have an intelligent conversation or the exchange of any ideas other than “LOL, I made a poopy” and “OMG, I just bought some new shoes, LOL!”

It’s been a slow process, but the heat has been rising for quite some time.

I’ve seen comments on blogs saying “Change is part of life.  I think we can learn to deal with these new changes. I don’t want to leave this place because everyone I like is here.  We should all just adapt to this.  Things will get better.  You’ll see.”

Yeah, you just keep fuckin’ that chicken and see where it gets you.  Enjoy those table scraps.  Enjoy those tiny crumbs of individuality that are allowed to you by the millionaire investors that sell adspace on this site.

Maybe when you’re profile looks like every other fucking profile on the internet, they’ll be nice and let you pick out a color or two.  Maybe they’ll let you keep your screen name for a year or so before you become “User # 102399843”.

Well, I’m here, with the irreverent and swaggering ghost of Jim Morrison to tell you “You’re all a bunch of fucking frogs!  Now what are you gonna do about it?!”

Are you gonna grovel like some conformist slave or are you gonna take charge of your own free will?  Are you gonna try to shut up all the other slaves so as to not upset the master?  Are you going to shred your personal Declaration Of Independence before it even gets a chance to be written?

It’s not just Myspace.  It’s our entire culture.  If you can’t rebel against the fascist actions of a social network, how the hell do you ever expect to fight for the freedom you’re supposed to have in real life?

Watch and learn folks.  This microcosm shows us more about people’s real personalities than we could have ever thought would be possible.




Polishing A Turd

Original post date August 11, 2010

This is what your future looks like

Throughout all of the blog “glitches” and emails to Myspace corporate, we still haven’t seen any feedback concerning the upcoming forced profile change.

There’s a petition going around to try to keep us old-schoolers from being forced into this Facebook style format.

I don’t think Myspace corporate is going to change course on this though.  This is all part of the ongoing emulation of Facebook.  This is part of Myspace’s inability to come up with an original moneymaking, user drawing, idea.

For several years, Myspace has been given the reputation of being the backwoods, racist, ghetto of the internet.  Just ask any intarwebz hipster.  They’ll tell you exactly that.

I think Myspace is desperately trying to find a way to reinvent itself and shake off the ghetto stigma that’s been attached to it.  The problem is, this can’t be fixed through Facebook imitation.  This problem is embedded in the culture of Myspace.

This problem comes from simply deleting profiles of trolls, stalkers, and reoccurring assholes instead of banning their IP’s from the entire website.  This problem comes from allowing dipshits to keep coming back after they have terrorized a large crossection of Myspace’s most loyal users.

This comes from putting statistical membership numbers above user enjoyment as a means of showing your worth to future investors.
This comes from embracing the fundamentals of total cluelessness that cloud the heads of upper-management teams worldwide.  Don’t fix the problem, pad the numbers instead.  Don’t believe in yourself, play the system for one more fiscal quarter.  Don’t fix the leaking ship, secure your golden parachute first.

The Facebookinization of Myspace will not reinvigorate new user numbers.  It won’t put Myspace in the What’s Hot category.  No one likes a poser.

I guess the point I’m trying to make is I don’t see Myspace backing off of the forced profile change.  They’re trying to change the culture of Myspace through appearances.  In their minds, if all of Myspace looks like Facebook, then they’ll be able to get Facebooks users to come back to Myspace.

They’re doing what my father-in-law refers to as “Polishing A Turd”.  That’s where someone takes a totally crappy car that’s on it’s last legs, and details and waxes it until it shines brilliantly in order to sell it to some unsuspecting schmuck.

Your “Ghetto” profile is hampering the turd polishing process.  Enjoy it while you have it.

* Just a side not here:  Isn’t it funny how it took an act of congress to dig information out of Myspace about these “blog glitches” that have now been “fixed”, yet they somehow find the time to send out those “What’s new to Myspace” mass emails every time they get one step closer to Facebook?  Kinda shows you where their true priorities are.


Battered Blogger Syndrome

Original post date August 11, 2010

DENIAL- The woman refuses to admit–even to herself–that she has been beaten or that there is a “problem” in her marriage. She may call each incident an “accident”. She offers excuses for her husband’s violence and each time firmly believes it will never happen again.

GUILT- She now acknowledges there is a problem, but considers herself responsible for it. She “deserves” to be beaten, she feels, because she has defects in her character and is not living up to her husband’s expectations.

ENLIGHTENMENT- The woman no longer assumes responsibility for her husband’s abusive treatment, recognizing that no one “deserves” to be beaten. She is still committed to her marriage, though, and stays with her husband, hoping they can work things out.

RESPONSIBILITY– Accepting the fact that her husband will not, or can not, stop his violent behavior, the battered woman decides she will no longer submit to it and starts a new life.

Something is missing from this table.  Something I call The Backlash.

The Backlash consists of:  The day after you pull an abusive husband off of his wife, she calls you up and blames you for trying to keep her from being beaten to a pulp.

AKA “Good riddance to the dissenters!”

How quickly we forget the reality of three days ago.  How quickly we tell ourselves it won’t happen again.

Yeah, I’m still bitching.  Ask anyone I’ve worked with in the past.  I do a lot of bitching before I burn a bridge.

For all you people who left Myspace.  For all you people who followed through on your grumblings.  You are now to blame for this.  Don’t ask me how, but you are.

And don’t you ever say anything bad about Myspace anymore.  He’s a good man.  He only gets “glitchy” when I deserve it!

* Stay tuned as I continue to irreverantly crash this ship into even more rocks.  I spent two years building this blogging warship.  I deserve to have some fun destroying it.  Let the drunken viking tirades roll!


Since New Myspace won’t give me a URL to repost this, I had to copy and paste it.

You’ll notice there’s a lot of steps involved with getting rid of your Myspace profile.  I guess it was too much hassle to put a “Delete My Fucking Account!” button in amongst the forest of broken buttons they incorporated into New My_______.

All the better to keep your lazy and apathetic ass logging in, my dear.


How do I delete my profile?

Hey, we hate to see you go. Keep in mind that cancellation removes your profile and all its contents from Myspace. Once you delete your profile, you can’t get any part of it back! So if you’re not sure, you can preserve your profile, playlists, and photos, yet limit others’ ability to view them, by deleting all of your friends and setting your profile privacy to “Only my friends.” This way you can still enjoy cool features like Myspace Music and Video.

If you’re absolutely sure you want to delete your profile, here’s what you do:

  1. log into Myspace
  2. hover over My Stuff (in the upper nav bar) and choose Edit Profile (on the left)
  3. click About Me (on the left)
  4. remove all the content from the About Me content box
  5. type “REMOVE PROFILE” in the About Me content box
  6. click Save changes
  7. then visit Help
  8. click Contact Myspace (on the right side of Help) 
  9. select Your Account as the Category, and Delete Profile as the sub-topic
  10. tell us you want to delete your profile, and provide us with your friend ID or vanity URL
  11. we’ll take it from there

Important stuff to know:




So there you have it.  It’s not quite as difficult as spinning five plates on sticks while blowing a rabid goat, so I guess I should be happy.

I’m not deleting my Moosehammer profile yet, but I will be deleting some of my other backup profiles.  There’s supposed to be a mass logout protest on the 15th.  I don’t think I’ll delete my profile for it, but I plan on not logging in that day.  My backup profiles will be gone by then, so they’ll count.

I saw someone say that Myspace has been losing about 6% or so of their users with each passing month.  I have a feeling this month is going to be a rough one for them.

So now that My ______ 3.0 has been inflicted upon most of my friends, I’m starting to see a lot of panic.  Some of the folks that called me crazy back in August are starting to see the real deal behind these changes.  I seem to remember a couple of Myspacers taking great delight in calling us Chicken Little types a “bunch of whiney Baby-boys”.

In the immortal words of Bob Dylan:  “Now you don’t talk so loud.  Now you don’t seem so proud.”  I’d post screenshots and humiliate some folks, but that would be pointless and just downright mean.  And being mean to people is generally a bad thing, so screw that noise!

Anyway, I’ve seen a repeat of the same behaviors that ran rampant back in August when all this glitchy-changey stuff started.  People are calling for petitions to be signed and for login boycotts, etc.

I’ve seen three different petitions go around since the “glitches” started a couple months ago.  I’ve seen the replies that people have gotten when asking Myspace higher-ups about the forced changeover too.  Every single one of them glazed over the concerns of the user and pushed a “oh but you’ll LOVE the new Crisp And Clean look!”.  A while back, Sean Percival himself made an appearance on World B Free’s blog and said he wanted to address concerns of users.  Many people voiced their concerns, but he didn’t offer any solutions other than “it’s Crisp And Clean and you’ll love it”.

Truth of the matter is Myspace isn’t earning enough money to keep investors happy.  Ad revenue was down by $70million in the last quarter and Rupert Murdoch is coming down on admins like an iron hammer.  So they’re not going to change horses backwards in the middle of the stream considering their jobs are on the line.

This is a failed hail mary pass on their part.  The format change has failed and it has failed too late in the game.  I personally think they’re just going through the motions now and hoping they can find alternative employment before the ship gets sold out from under them.

There is no going back now.  No amount of emails or petitioning will make Myspace admins reprogram the site to a format that failed to bring in enough ad revenue.  No amount of boycotts or bitching will bring back the blogging community format that was the backbone of an aged and haggard Myspace.  Blogs will forever be featured within a tiny slit on your homepage, bordered and encumbered by wide swaths of ads, half-naked celebrities, and app invites.  I’m sorry Virginia, but Santa Claus has left the building and the elves have put you on their block lists.


It’s time to forge new paths and build new empires.  It is inevitable that some of us will lose track of each other along the way.  It is a sad reality, but hey, that’s life.  Some of us will manage to stick together.  Either way, we’ll all find new friends and networks along the way.

Change is good.  It forces us out of our comfort zones and it forces us to find new tools and networks that better suit our needs.  While some of our tribe will simply default themselves over to Facebook, many of us will slap on our coonskin caps and blaze trails out into the great unknown.

It’s an exciting time to be a blogger without a country.  The possibilities are endless.  Thank you, Myspace!

OK so I logged into Myspace today to see if they had forced my profile into compliance with the new “Crisp and Clean” format of Myspace 3.0.  I was glad to see I still had my oldschool 2.0 profile (for now anyway).  I got a chuckle out of seeing a friend of mine’s status that read “XXXXXXX just upgraded to the new profile!” which was quickly followed by a comment posted by XXXXXXX that said “No I didn’t…” followed by an angry tirade.

Isn’t it interesting how they’ve set it up where it looks like everyone is chomping at the bit to downgrade into the new profile?  All the better to banner ad you with my dear.  $moneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoney$

Speaking of Myspace ad revenue, I should quit rambling about stupid shit and get the actual point of this blog…which is…you guessed it…stupid shit.

While I was checking on the towering inferno formerly known as Myspace, I saw this little jewel in my sidebar:


OK, now.  What the fuck is this shit?  No really!  What the fuck is this shit?!

Yes. I know it’s an advertisement for an app.  But really.  Are we supposed to believe the young ladies in the picture above are on their way to a wet t-shirt contest somewhere near the enemy lines?  I’ve heard of The Battle Of The Bulge, but this is ridiculous.  If I was a WWII vet and I saw this ad, I’d be ready to beat someone to death with my walker.  I’ve got a walker myself, so I can say stuff like that BTW.

In all seriousness, could they have thought up a better way to mock everyone who fought and/or died in WWII?  I know T&A sells, but to use it like this is tasteless.

war3 Here’s more Dawn of Nations promo material.

What’s next?  Are we going to see ads depicting women in striped concentration camp uniforms, half unbuttoned, with their breasts hanging out called “Concentration: A Game Of Mammary”.  Or perhaps they’ll do one that’s a wet t-shirt contest superimposed onto a backdrop of the bombing of Hiroshima.  They could call it “Getting Bombed II: Spring Break Boogaloo!”

wtfgame1 Here’s one I threw together.

It seems a bit more tasteless when it’s based on current events, doesn’t it?  It’s not as easy to forgive when it involves our legless and shell-shocked buddies that just got shipped back home.

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.  The real horrors of war have been downplayed at every possible turn by mass media and the government.  Video games like Modern Warfare and other war simulation games have been targeted directly at children and young adults for quite some time now.  War is a game.  Join up now and see if you can rack up a high score!  Sex and violence are fine if they’re done with approval from the war machine.

Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t have anything against T&A (tits and ass), D&A (dicks and abs/ass), or Apps (browser based games).  I just feel there’s an appropriate time and place for all of the above.  Selling war to the masses as fun via a wet T-shirt contest is not appropriate.  Thousands of brave WWII soldiers gave their lives to insure our generations a better life.  They didn’t give their lives to sell apps for a bunch of soulless fucking suits.